ALBUM REVIEW: MATH THE BAND – Stupid And Weird – Math The Band, now if (early) Cardiacs really wanted to be a very American Sparks-like analogue pop band and were to make you smile big yellow and green shit-eating smiles while they go off and things in a (slightly bratty) very very (very) American way…. This new Math The Band album is brilliant, just excellent pop music…. I’d write a review if we still did that kind of thing…. favourite album of the year so far… bit of MC Lars delight in there tooo, MC Lars always had an ability to make us smile, Math The Band make us beam, you’ll never get enough, They start off like a hyperactive Kraftwerk until that pure pop bounce kicks in and that smile hits your face, all beautiful square pegs fitting perfectly in to round holes and you’ll never find a way to get it out off your head, and it is so hard to get by. This is what we need on a grey February day in deepest London town, although I suspect it will sound even better when the glories of June arrive (if we ever get there). “So what” you say, that’s right, you don’t need to think about it, just drink your fizzy orange – here, have another spoon-full of sugar rush. Well I told you, well it isn’t that I want to, if you don’t check it out we might have to destroy you, things left on the floor, to go off an things. If it isn’t going to kill you is there any point in trying it? I’m not waiting for tomorrow, you’re ready for it today…. got too much motivation…. got nothing left to say… Proper pop music (from Rhode Island, Yewnited States), proper fizzing analogue pop music, proper meaty synth pop head rush – just proper. I’ll do this again when I write the proper words, and when it’s over, there’ll be nothing left, it’s going to happen again, open the window, here comes a verse… Everything you want to know has come true.
You see, back in the day, when Organ meant something and people cared about words on paper, printed words than danced around the architecture of music, I must have written, oh I don’t know, tens of thousands of review-like jumbled descriptions and scratching at the surface to try and share the excitement of music or painting or… And now we don’t need all that, the music reviewer is redundant, the critic isn’t needed, and all that is required are those who taste we trust enough to follow a signposted link to a soundcloud-you-tube-bandcamp, a signpost that says “good art here, go discover”.
been here so long, got to give this review one more shot, been in this game so long you’d think I’d have figured out how it works. Math The Band have efficiency, you’ll never get enough, the melody has integrity, economy of verse, you’ll never get enough. Can we forgive that silly throwaway bonus track? The human ear in the shower we could live with but that silly bonus track is annoying when everything else on this new album is so so right, by the time that final throwaway bonus track comes in, we’re already hooked and we know we’ll never be apart and those giraffes eat leaves and they run oh so very fast and we’ll never be apart and you will never find a way to get up and get it out of your head. Okay so they don’t really sound that much like Cardiacs, so what? So what? So flipping what? They do really, but so what? Cardiacs are very very English, this is very very United States of whatever you got, United States of pop, all sweatbands around the head and Devo Boingo Sparks and cheap tricks and like they’re living in a bubble and watch them now, ‘cause they know what they’re talking about – well they do, they know what they’re talking about, they know! Is this a review? Review this and they might have been giants for a moment there. No waiting for tomorrow and you don’t need any of these words and this is all a waste of my time and yours (if you’re still reading, pretty sure no one has stuck around and got this far down the page have they?). These words are a waste of time, you can just go stream the album and play it and play it (and maybe even buy it, we all need to eat you know, please buy art, buy music). Argghh, here comes that annoying bonus track that you’ll want to punch in the mouth again, skip it, back to the start, we don’t want to party, stick to what you already did, no one’s reading this, it doesn’t matter, who brings a pet rabbit to an art show in the middle of Soho on Chinese New Year celebration day anyway? Rabbits and tiny dogs when everyone who can is setting off cracks and bangs and what’s with art crowds anyway… Hang on, play the album again, we’re somewhere near out in that desert again now and the red bats and the oingo boingo of Math The Band is drowning out the drills, the album has been (loudly) on repeat all day, love it to bits, although I suspect it isn’t to your taste, oh right you think this is brilliant as well
“oh but I instantly love Math The Band, of course I do… it’s like Fight Like Apes electronicified and on speed – yes this is gooooooooooood!”
Quite possibly the album of the year so far, Math The Band, it all adds up. That was almost a proper review, sorry about that, love it to bit (dreadful artwork though)
Talking of magazines and words and things, down in Brighton, issue 2 of Brogue is in production…
More of this kind of thing tomorrow…. maybe…. or maybe 300 death nails are all we need….