Punktastic? You’re having a great big long-necked giraffe mate! Check this out; “Hi Organ, Hope you’re having a good week so far. *****are holding an evening at ****** in London (owned by Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits) on Wednesday 12th April and we’d love to have you there if you’re free? Hailed as “the heroes British rock needs right now” by the Huffington Post, the band have been featured on 6 Music, Classic Rock, Total Guitar and Punktastic already and have supported Eric Clapton, Van Morrison and Simple Minds on tour too. Brought up on a heavy diet of classic bands like Led Zep, Sabbath and Pink Floyd, they’re equally inspired by modern acts like Biffy Clyro and Royal Blood and have played on big stages at Reading & Leeds, T in the Park and Hard Rock Calling. On the night, they’ll be performing select acoustic tracks from the forthcoming album, ***** and playing the album in full afterwards with free drinks, food and a chance to chat with the band. This is current single premiered on Team Rock earlier this week: (link removed ot protect your soul) Timings for the night as follows: Entry – 6.30pm Special acoustic performance – 7pm Drinks and goodie bags upon entry! Let me know if you’d like to come, we’d love to have you there! Thanks”
I mean come on! Is this where we’re at with rock music in 2017?! And do you really think we can be fobbed off with a goodie bag, a stale sandwich and handshakes after the acoustic set? Are we really supposed to be impressed that your record company bought you on to the bill with Eric (“Enoch Powell was right”) Clapton, is this song we’re listening to right now really the best “the heroes British rock needs right now” have to offer? Are we really expected to get in line with some suck-up music website called Punktastic of all things? Punktastic!? They;re really living up to their punktastic name there with their championing of the blandest of bland while they shake hands with some sanitized glossy corporate wannabe rock band, don’t forget to grab the goodie bag Punktastic! And what a dreadful dreadful band they are, no where near worth naming here. No, we won’t bother naming them and soiling these pages, and if they really were brought up on “a heavy diet of classic bands like Led Zep, Sabbath and Pink Floyd” then they’ve somehow managed to miss the entire point and every positive thing to be found attached to any of those three bands! These two over-glossy videos we just endured here were about as far away from War Pigs or Dazed and Confused as you could possible get! I mean come on yet again! This band, these “heroes British rock needs right now” even manage to make the dreadful ultra slick radio-rock pap that Biffy Clyro peddle sound almost nearly interesting in comparison, they’re so damn bad they make the prospect of being forced to listen to those damn makers of music for glossy shaving adverts they call the godawful Foo Fighters a preferential option! Goodie bags?!, Eric Clapton and “the heroes British rock needs right now”! Get out of here! About as punktastic as Mark bleedin’ Knopfler on a big red pogo stick! And the thing that bothers more than anything is the though that someone out there at the record label or the PR company thinks we’d want to go anywhere near this bland watered-down slick corporate 2017 radio-friendly watered-down soulless take on everything that was boring and bloated fIrst, second and third time around! This is about as BLack Sabbath influenced as Danny LA Rue’s piano playing, about as Led Zeppelin flavoured as a Spice Girls reunion, Goodie bags! Meet the band! Free curled up sandwiches and a pickled onion after the acoustic set at Knopfler’s place? You really are taking the piss!
And what was going on in terms of East London art last night? First Thursday of the month, sunny evening, surely there’s going to be something to excite tonight? Is there really much point in making the effort to cross the road and go to an art opening at Space Studios? Haven’t we learned by now?! Have they had anything vaguely interesting in that big Mare Street gallery in recent times? Hashtag London Needs Artists is what it says in giant yellow letters in the front windows of the heavily funded Hackney arts space? Have they given up on actually having anything much in terms of art inside the building though? Right now you’ve got some sub children’s playground painting of a face on the front, some kind of half-arsed instillation inside and last night you had about fifty or so art student types sucking down cheap bottled larger at the opening while talking loudly about how “I’m trying to get some funding for this” and “I’m applying to the arts council for that” and yadda yadda yawn yawn yawn. Such a big beautiful space, so underused, so consistently disappointing. Still, Jonathan Baldock’s newly installed piece comes with a commissioned essay so we can bluff it all out and talk loudly about the politics of sleep and the gestalt and the quiche lorraine of it all. The tent thing occupies the small front part of the gallery at the moment, the face thing is outside, heaven knows what they’re actually doing with the rest of the gallery space, hasn’t been is use for ages now, such a s waste of a resource. Anyway, the tent thing is there for the next six weeks, don’t forget to read the essay now, the gallery commissioned it you know,
Actually East London last night really was underwhelming in terms of art and openings and the fractured remains of what was once First Thursday. April, summer is starting to kick in, the clock are forward, there’s a need for sunblock and being out there enjoying art and people and where is it all? There’s a couple of openings in the two rooms of at Stolen Space, there’s a load of street artists and graff writers sucking down cheap bottled larger and bitching about who said what about who and who’s been blocked on social media outside. The Low Bros are in the back room with their slick graphic thing “Recognised for their vivid compositions and Retro Futuristic animal portraits, Berlin based duo Low Bros Present ’Wired’; the next chapter exploring social and individual Identity in a digital age”, it mostly feels like some slick LA 80’s radio-friendly big budget new wave rock band’s latest slick album cover, The Cars or some such slick glossy sharp-suited band. “Wired centres the graphic form of the Wolf. The Wolf floats in no discernible space, often duplicated or fractured among recognisable objects from contemporary culture and nature. His surface appears to be made from hard, durable materials like concrete or blah blah blah….” They do like things slick at Stolen Space don’t they? It didn’t excite that much. “The Low Bros are an artist duo, made up of brothers Christoph and Florin Schmidt – formerly active graffiti writers Qbrk and Nerd. Incorporating influences taken from graffiti, hip hop, skateboarding…” tempting to ask where did all go wrong for them? The temptation is resisted, maybe they just got old? Down the free vodka, crunch the ice cube and get the hell out of here. The front gallery room of Stolen Space is housing something called ‘Finder / Builder’ the new solo show by The Lost Object.
“The Lost Object works with discarded and abandoned materials, creating ‘Lost Objects’, a kind of collaboration between the artist and time and nature itself, incorporating the materials flaws and physical history into the work, creating something fresh and new” – things are all done in a very slick politely framed clean it up, sanitised, edges all taken off kind of way. No danger of a splinter or a cut from a rusty old nail here, I prefer my material off the street to have some of the grit of street left on there.
And there’s not much else worth a mention to be found happening in East London tonight in terms of art. Studio 1.1 on Redchurch Street is very underwhelming, an artist presenting his third solo show in the space. Heartening to see the space still there of course, good to see it defiantly hanging on, an oasis in the designer label cultural desert that Redchurch Street now is, good to see a small crowd outside sucking down cheep bottled lager, just not that exciting in terms of the actual art on the walls tonight so we’ll wish them well and leave them to it.
The constant accusation fired at us here at Organ is that we just blindly like everything, that we’re so damn positive about this band or that painter or that show or that gig or that album, they we never question anything, and yes, most of the time we can only be bothered with the positives, the exciting ones, but that doesn’t mean there’s isn’t a lot that we choose to not bother covering, that we’re not that excited by, that there aren’t things that annoy us, anger us. The Low Bros show at Stolen Space was as good as it got last night, the ex graff-writing brothers from Germany didn’t really excite that much, none of Thursday evening’s East London art offerings excite that much. Did just cross the read again an hour or so ago for a second Friday afternoon look at the tent thing on the other side of Mare Street. Space is a gallery that still disappoints, the tent offered nothing anymore exciting in the cold light of day, actually, really can’t remember the last time the gallery over the road came anywhere near doing anything exciting, could be worse though, we could be based over the road from Knopfler‘s place and those “heroes British rock needs right now”. Punktastic indeed, keep sucking it now, more later, we’re off to throw things at something…. (sw)
LOW BROS and THE LOST OBJECT are both at Stolen Space until April 25th
Click on an image to enlarge or to run the fractured slide show….