Monday morning, paint to throw, in-box busting with music submissions – “you’re gonna love this band, they’re right up your street” said the PR guy. No, we’re not! They sound like every other unremarkable personality-free indie-landfill band championed by the NME over the last twenty years, next….
We’re going to stick with the in-box and work our way through until something worthy of the honour that is Organ Thing of The Day, we shall plow through until something bites our ears.
This next band being just about tolerated now are apparently “channeling the spirit of northern soul” so says the press release,. If this is channeling Northern Soul then that half eaten piece of toast over there is most certainly channeling the spIrit of GG Allin – look, that burnt bit with the strawberry jam splattered on it does look a bit like GG! The northern soul wannabees actually sound like an insipidly awful take on everything bad that came with all the Arctic Monkeys hype without the occasionally good bits that that dreadfully average band ripped off of Sir John Cooper Clark, positively chickentown! They sound like the Libertines without the drugs or the songs, Nolan Porter must be spinning on his head with laughter, Northern Soul? Come on PR man how can we take any of your e.mails seriously when you make claims like that about the bands you’re pimping at us? Next please…
Stillhound? I think I’d rather go hang out with Shed Seven and take up yesterday’s invite, next…. Next up, yet another rule-obeying baked-bean flogging generic cookie monster heavy metal copycat band who want to sound like all the bands they listen to. The dragon on their disaster of an album cover has to be one of the worst we’ve seen for oh at least two weeks, “Their music is influenced by the current metal scene” too right it is! Very much so, not the slightest hint of a desire to add a tiny bit of something original. Heavy metal these days is rather like street art, everything must conform, be the same as all the others, make a stencil just like the rat Banksy copies off that other bloke. Who was that band who once told us the metal they made was like baked beans? Apparently according to said band, no one wants blue baked beans, it all has to be orange, people want their baked beans orange. They really did say that, in to a tape recorder, back in the days of cassettes in the Wardour Street Marquee dressing room, Blue Blud they were called (yes, that is how the bean pushers spelt it, what would the Stormchild have said, now there was a band worth their beans), they were opening for Faith no More at the Marquee and really struggling to get their bean-brain metalheads around why the Marquee was full of people there for this strange new band from California who’s beans really didn’t sound very much like orange baked beans.. next… .
Green Bastard are a “New England stoner-doom trio who have just announced their debut LP, ‘Pyre’ due out November 16 on Midnight Werewolf records on cassette and download. Does anyone have a cassette player anymore, surely not? There are mountains of tapes in here, not had a player for years, do people just buy these hip-this-week cassette releases as ornaments to put on their shelves next to their Star Wars dolls and their cans of orange baked beans? Got a pile of eight track cartridges over there, beat that one retroposers, you’re not a serious musichead unless you’ve got Slade Alive on eight track cartridge, don’t come here with your newfangled cassettes you lightweight hipsters!
This second Green Bastard song, is it a song? This second Green Bastard track has been churning along for almost fourteen minutes now, we’ve heard it all before but there is a little something extra in here and it is positively hypnotic in a St-Vitus does Earth kind of way, stoner soundart rather than just the usual aimless bludgeon riffola. These guys are pounding us towards submission, we give in to the relentless churn! We like it, we like the doom and damnation, hell, we love it! love the raw stew of sound, have there been any vocals yet? Not noticed, seems like they’ve been playing for hours now, is this three track album on repeat? Hang on, it isn’t on repeat, this third track is rather different, this is serious doomy depression and he claims he woke up screaming in the dark – the vocals have kicked in, is that bit there sounding like Stone Roses wanting to be Candlemass? Did they say they were playing Manchester soon? Manchester New Hampshire you say? Rebuild the Hacienda and get them booked over here! That bit there 8.26 in is Stone Roses for doomheads who have no idea who the Stone Roses are let along what they sound like, Green Dream is the name of the song, this one certainly is a song, another fourteen minute song.. We’re back to the first track now, Thorus, they did have vocals in there with the churn and the riffs and cement mixer and the holding of heads under the sea. This is an impressive wall of fog and fuzz and doom and stoner puss and low-end rumble and most of all positive repetition, positively pounding at you until you give in to the raw power of it all….
Here’s the official press release and some much-needed clarity
GREEN BASTARD ANNOUNCE DEBUT LP ‘PYRE’: New England stoner-doom trio Green Bastard have announced their debut LP, ‘Pyre’ due out November 16 on Midnight Werewolf records on cassette and download.
‘Pyre’ is an immense listen. Comprised of three sprawling tracks, it takes just under an hour to run its course, but has an intangible gift of drawing the listener into its own reality. In the vein of Sleep, Green Bastard churn out groovy, driving riffs, which are further blended with the filthy fuzz of Boris and Monolord. Touches of post-rock and post-metal reveal themselves in evocative guitar lines that glide over the top of the rolling mass. Mastered by Will Killingsworth of Ampere and Orchid, it is an excellent new work from the fertile New England heavy music scene.
Opening track ‘Thoros’ is a fitting introduction to the album, luring the listener in with atmospheric droning before monumental riffs pummel down the channels. When the track turns onto a new path of its journey midway, soaring guitar separates itself from the thick fuzz, a patient payoff from the minutes of hypnotic build before it. These transitions mark the milestones of ‘Pyre’; the outro to the monstrous second track ‘Cyclopean Walls’, for instance, has the relentlessly thick riffs disintegrate into noisy, disharmonious wails reminiscent of Neurosis. ‘Green Dream’ closes off the record, a brooding piece that contemplates the existential anguish of a clairvoyant. The tone of the track begins mournfully, progressing into a heavy catharsis as singer and bassist Spencer Benson moves his dynamic voice from contemplative singing to a raucous shout. The music follows, using chord progressions that build in the manner of post-rock and delivering angry, lamenting guitar and bass riffs. Drums crash through forceful rhythms beneath, and the combination constructs a potent emotional imagery, capturing the sense of the character and the fantastical nature of the track’s setting. ‘Pyre’ is an assured, sophisticated, and downright filthy statement from a band who, like the seer in ‘Green Dream’, appear to know themselves a little too well for comfort – but more than well enough for riffs.
Here’s an old Green Bastard track that’s nowhere near as good as this new stuff, the new stuff isn’t on line yet, you’ll have to make do with Furious George here, nowhere near as good as the new album though, hang on, haven’t we posted this before? .
Here, have a Cardiacs cover while we wait for Green Bastard ot post up thir new album
Meanwhile “here’s my new favorite band, Listening Woman” said Gregory
“Room Divider” from Listening Woman’s second release “Getting “Mystic. Coming Fall 2016 on OSR Tapes. Directed, shot, and edited by Ari Ratner, here’s some links, we’ll go find out more, we always take note on what Gregory has to say….
Here you go, these baked beans were never orange, these were the finest of baked beans, what were Blue Blud on about that time? How on earth did Trespass morph in to Blue Blud antway? What were they thinking?
More tomorrow…. maybe… here, have some of Dark Star‘s blue baked beans